I wish Christmas was still magical.

It's 10pm on Christmas Eve. I'm doing laundry and in my room on the computer. My dad is watching TV. My mom is in bed because she has the stomach flu. I'm not sure this is all right. In fact, it seems all wrong, to me.

Christmas used to be magical. I used to go to bed on Christmas Eve and wake up (always sometime between 5 and 6 in the morning) to find filled stockings and new presents under the tree and the cinnamon buns my mother had prepared the night before three times their size and ready to be baked...

This year the stockings are already filled. I could walk out into the living room right now and go through mine if I wanted (which I don't). I made the cinnamon buns... and I know exactly what they are going to look like in the morning. Nothing is special. Nothing at all.

All of this boils down to the current personal crisis I'm having with what I like to call "the middle years". This is my term for the ten-some years spent between childhood and having children. I've spent two (nearly three) years in it, and I'm fed up already. I want children... but maybe I don't even need to go that far. Maybe I just want magic back.

So, I went to look for some. Today, I made my friend Grayden come with me to find Christmas miracles. Now, where would one find a Christmas miracle? Well, we started at the obvious place... 34th street. Unfortunately, we found a lot of ugly industrial buildings, warehouses, and refineries. So much for Christmas miracles.

Yet, I'm trying not to let this dampen my spirits. I'll still be up at 6 jumping up and down ready to unwarp gifts... here's hoping I'll rediscover my childhood.

P.S. I know this was terribly written... it's Christmas eve and I just plain don't care.

Emily's feelings on... Christmas music!

As an avid listener of 'EZRock 104.9: Edmonton's soft rock with less talk!', I hear my fair share of Christmas music. Actually, come Christmas, I usually spend more time on other stations (I'm a bit of a radio-station surfer... and by a bit I mean I last on a station about as long as a hard-on would last when the owner starts thinking of Rita MacNeil) because, let's face it, when EZRock switches to its "all Christmas music" time, things start to get a little repetitive.

With that in mind, I do, in fact, enjoy Christmas music. Actually, that's untrue. I enjoy a lot of winter music because a lot of the songs I like aren't specifically related to Christmas although they, for the most part, only ever play around Christmas. So, I'm going to try to make a list of winter songs and rate each one out of 5 stars, in hopes that it will bring me, or whoever reads this, some kind of holiday cheer... okay, here we go:

Baby, It's Cold Outside - this is pretty much my favourite winter song. It's just sooo good. I don't care who sings it, it's a classic and it's adorable. *****

Marshmallow World - I love this song. It's a lot of fun and makes -30 temperatures sound fun too. ****

Started with a Child - Johnny Reid - This is a great song and Johnny Reid sounds great singing it. I want to make it lose points for being excessively Jesus-oriented, but that IS why we celebrate Christmas so that's a tad unfair, so I'm going for broke with rating this one. *****

Christmas Convoy - Paul Brandt - Any normal song remade about Christmas fails at life... and this wasn't even a good song to begin with. What the hell were you thinking, Paul? *

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - This is a fantastic song and I love that it, for the most part, actually captures the spirit of the book. I consider the cartoon How the Grinch Stole Christmas the ONLY good adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book to screen. This is a good song. *****

The Hanukkah Song (all three parts) - Adam Sandler - Ever since Jason McNeil, the only person I knew who was Jewish for the greater part of my life (oh, the ever-culturally-diverse Sherwood Park), gave a presentation to our class about Judaism in Grade 3 I've been pretty obsessed with anything and everything Jewish. This song rocks, although it does make me super upset that I'm not Jewish... however that is all rectified in Part Three when I realize that the option of marrying David Schwimmer and converting to Judaism still exists. I also love the attempts to rhyme everything in the world with Hanukkah. It's fun. ****

New Years Day - U2 - This is a fantastic song and I love it. That's all. *****

It's Christmas, Baby Please Come Home - U2 - Also wonderful. ****

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - This is, quite likely, the worst song ever written. I'm not even kidding. "Mom say a hippo would eat me up but then teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian." a) What kind of mother doesn't know a small fact like that about animals? b) What kind of stupid kid calls their teacher 'teacher'. c) What kind of teacher calls herbivores 'vegetarians'. You fail at life. All of you. And the kid is super annoying and the part at the end where he starts trying to pluralize things incorrectly is just dumb. Your stupid hippo sat on all your stars, song.

Santa, Baby - Madonna - I have really, really mixed feelings about this song. It's kinda a fun song, and I kinda enjoy it, but at the same time it's just not Madonna enough for me. It barely sounds like her and, thought I've never tried to sing it drunk, I think it would be considerably less fun to sing than "Like a Prayer" when I'm intoxicated. I'm very torn, but I'll bump it up to three because I just love Madonna so much. ***

Shut Up and Let it Snow - I heard this song for the first time today and it ruined my life. I said this before and I'll say it again, DO NOT REMAKE REGULAR SONGS FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Especially not when they are annoying songs like, "Shut Up and Let Me Go". How about I just say 'shut up', full stop?

Christmas in Hollis - Run DMC - This song is awesome and involves special memories with my good friend Sheldon Trewin and the tapes he makes me. Love it! ****

Christmas in Killarny - This song is super cheesy and very folksy, but when you move past that it's a lot of fun! Check it out! ***

Christmas is all Around Me - Okay, so, it's probably the worst song ever written, 'but wouldn't it be nice if number one this Christmas was an ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at all costs?' Because I love Love Actually more than almost any other movie, I love this song. But on its own, it's terrible. ***

Where are you Christmas? - Faith Hill - Although I didn't think the Ron Howard's The Grinch was the greatest of movies, I really do love this song. I've listened to it every Christmas since the movie came out, and I always find some way to relate to it. It's a very good choice. ****

All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey - Can anyone help but love this song? I doubt it. *****

Thistle Hair the Christmas Bear - Alabama - EVERY time this song comes on CISN Country I want to shoot myself. It's cheesy and stupid and I can't BEAR it.

Mistletoe - Colbie Calliat - I've only heard this song once but I really like it. I don't have much more to say because I don't know it well enough. ****

So This is Christmas - John Lennon an Yoko Ono - Well, as Sheldon has pointed out to me MANY times, ANYTHING with Yoko Ono in it is worth listening to. Especially, She Gets Down on Her Knees to Throw Up Life. But, in all seriousness, this is a great song and everyone knows it. ****

The Twelve Days of Christmas - one year when I was MUCH younger, I woke up early every day around Christmas, went into the family room and BELTED this song until one of my parents begrudgingly got out of bed and asked what on earth I was doing. However, this was LONG ago and I've now come to hate this song. A lot. As my good friend and roommate Anna and I recently figured out, this song features FAR too much poultry. Eight out of the twelve items are birds... and if you were Jewish and cut it down to the Eights days of Hanukkah, 3/4 of the items would be birds. What kind of true love goes around giving people a bunch of birds? That's dumb, and this song is overly repetitive. *

What You Want for Christmas - Quad City DJs - Sheldon introduced me to this song and it changed my life. If you haven't heard this song, you need to THIS INSTANT! *****

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - N'Sync - I own and love this CD. Ridiculous, of course. Wonderful, most definitely. ****

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer - This song is horrible. Like, actually horrible. It's about a poor Grandmother getting killed by a reindeer. It's terrible. I hope whoever sings this song gets run over by a reindeer.

Something About Christmas Time - Bryan Adams - This song is uplifting and enjoyable. I like it a lot. ****

Reggae Christmas - Bryan Adams - Hey, Bryan mon, you from Ontario mon... NOT JAMAICA!! However, I have to admit that this song is pretty catchy and enjoyable. ****

And last, but certainly not least:

ANYTHING BY THE CHIPMUNKS!!!! - This deserves no stars and needs no explanation. If hell has a soundtrack, their CDs are it.

So, that's my long and rambling rant about Christmas songs. Please feel free to mention your own favourites if you so desire!